my dad's friend was studying to become a dentist, and so she did and moved to L.A. there, she got a job as an assistant to "Dentist To The Stars" !!!!!!. anyway, she married mark hammil (no mike, not the skater, figures you'd know about men's skating, but no, i mean the dude that played luke in star wars, had no career after that, but oh well). jeah, that's all.
ok, my grandma works. and she told about one of her co-workers: she was at the drive up thingy at a bank, and she stuck her hand in those tube thingys that they send the money through, and the little door closed or somethin, and she broke her hand and can't work and she has to have surgery. now what kind of a stupid injury is that.
at dinner one day, i was talkin to my grandma about about my book for reading, the summer of my german soldier one, anyway, i say that it was bogus, and she said "is that good or bad?"
woah, i'm just realizing, all the stuff about my grandma is right here, oh well. at work, my grandma is a receptionist so she has to sit on a stool. but the stool is too high for her to sit on, and it has wheels, so whenever she tries to heave herself up on it, which is really hard, it rolls away, and she looks like a dumb old lady that can sit down. meanwhile her bench has rolled all the way across the room, and has severely injured someone's hand, and now they can't work and they have to get surgery. ok, so i made that part up. so sue me.
in a recent article of the funny dude that writes articles in the paper every friday, he was talking about how women only want gifts that don't do anything, like jewelry. so he said that women would rather have a beeswax candle, with clearly visible chunks of BEE POOP, than a super duper camping lamp thingy which i dont remember. i just added this cause i had never thought about the subject of BEE POOP, and i thought it was a purdy darn funny one at that. woah, i sound like my grandma. moving on.
when my family and i were deciding on a day for my party, we got on the subject of the easter bunny. now what i wanna know is, why is there an easter BUNNY, giving out EGGS. bunnies dont' lay eggs, i hope. anyway, if i ruled the world, i would make it so there was at least an easter platypus giving out eggs (you might know, platypuses are the only mammals yet discovered on this earth that lay eggs, and for this disgustin achievment, i think they at least deserve a holiday) or, if you don't want a poisonous egg-laying mammal sneaking around your yard hiding eggs, you could have an easter bunny, it would just have to give out, yes, baby bunnies. jeah, jeah, "oooooooh, look mommy, i found a little blue bundle of fur" "watch out darling, you're about o step on one!" SQUISH. ewwwwww. imagine the merchandising..........
|
hear is some one-line, or maybe more, i just wanted to say that, stuff that i felt like putting on here. filth-encrusted camels
did you know, KFC makes enough chicken each year to circle the earth 11 times!!!!!!!!
"i'm a freak, you're a freak, teach me your freakish ways"
AHHHHHHHH, HELP, THE LAWN GNOMES ARE ATTACKING!!!!!!!
got this one from lisa (omg) JELLO IS ALIVE
a word that i find exceptionally funny is loofa. i dunno how to spell it, but that spelling adds to it. now loofa is like this sponge thingy with soap, that was used to wash yourself, i guess before the days of body wash (nooooooooooooooo), and i was introduced to this wonderful thingy (no, i dont' own one, hmmm, but that could be a good comedy prop), from a cartoon. no, it wasn't angry beavers. no, it wasn't spongebob. it was, a cartoon i happen to hate, catdog. why do i hate a cartoon with a cat you might ask, well, it's because THE CATS ALWAYS LOSE, AND THE STUPID DUMB DOGS ALWAYS WIN, JUST BY LUCK AND TO PLEASE ALL OF THE STUPID DOG LOVING KINDERGARDENERS OUT THERE. it's realy annoying. anyway, on the show the cat (bringer of all good loofa) goes to a store called loofa-rama. which is just plain fun to say. loofa-rama loofa-rama loofa-rama loofa-rama. ok, i'm done.
THAT'S ALL. |
