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Headline news

Here is a recent incident

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Bank Illinois was held up today by two cats. They came in armed, and took money from the tellers and vaults. "The odd thing about the robbery was that they only took ten dollars," says Mr. Bob, president of the bank. "I guess that's all they needed." These criminal kitties were never apprehended, but reliable sources say they needed this money to buy raffle tickets. These raffle tickets were supposedly bought to help raise money for a freshman band student at Centennial to go to Tampa, Florida next year. "Yeah, i think i saw some cats, but everyone looked the same," says alix mish mish, seller of the raffle tickets. "i wouldn't be able to pick them out of a group." If you have any information about these outlawed cats, please call Cat Stoppers at 1-800-bad-cats.


in case you are slow and haven't figured it out yet, those are my cats in the story. and yes, we bribed them, fifty pounds of cat nip each. also, don't be a dork and call that number, it probably doens't work, but that'd be funny if it did, until i got arrested. "police, these weird people keep calling my hotline, and talking about some sort of criminal cats" that would be hard to explain.